I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
