The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
