I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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