If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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