Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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