The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
