Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
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