This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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