Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize