Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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