Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
