i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Come share oat with me in your robe
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
