I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize