Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
