Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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