therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You are the jesus of drinking
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
