If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
