I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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