she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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