I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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