Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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