ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
that is very illegal...i love you.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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