Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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