Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
