y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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