hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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