Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
