Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
