i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
