I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
