i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my shit smells like andre
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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