god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
That accounts for only three of the penises
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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