Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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