i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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