and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
