Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
