Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Randomize
