I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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