it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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