My room smells like vodka and shame
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
