So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
