Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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