Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize