Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She's the barista slut.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
