I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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