I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
