Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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