Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
