My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
