do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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