I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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