we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
