She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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