made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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