I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Randomize