Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
