no, he came in my armpit
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
