She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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