Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I believe in your delicious
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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