I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
