we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
