Just fell off a train. Bad.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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