When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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