Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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