He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
