just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think a kid would responsible me up
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
